Intentional Accidents
by Fluffeh Eyebrows
Summary: He hadn't meant to stalk Sora but like all the strange things he did, it just kind of happened. AxelSora, hints of AxelRoxas.


**Author's Notes**: I started writing this on a spare piece of napkin which I had stolen from my very-Asian friend who loves to steal huge, wads of tissues from restaurants around the world. I was also drunk on minty, white-hot-chocolate so if this is all "WHAT THE FREAKIN' FUZZ," then you know why.

**Axel/Sora**. Hints of AxelRoxas. Stupid, pointless, full of run-ons, AU, but that's what I like to write!...:D

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

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**Intentional Accidents**

Axel hadn't _meant _to stalk Sora, but like all the strange and 'WTF LOL' things that he ever did, it just kind of happened.

One second he had been sucking the life out of his fructose-infested fizzy drink with obnoxious guzzling noises, and in the next, he was playing Mission Impossible: complete with dramatic ninja-wannabe stunts and climatic background music! (well in his head at least) as he half-ran, half-ducked his way closer to his goal. He didn't know if it was possible to stalk someone by accident but it had been a _spur of the moment_ thing, and he wasn't the sort of person to think twice about his actions.

In fact, Axel was the sort of individual who breathed and lived by the art of the greatest spontaneity; a myriad of so-called 'unintentional' accidents and half-hearted, "_Oops, sorry, didn't mean it!"_s, coupled with a recklessness that flavored his way of being with an overall, saucy taste of "**I** really don't care, and **you** shouldn't care _either_, so let's just do it already!" kind-of-ness.

So when Axel caught sight of a certain slender boy who suspiciously looked a whole lot like his former Bee-Eff - with that funny looking hair and a pair of baby blue eyes to boot - he found it only natural to trail after the kid. Not once did Axel think that his behavior of "sneaky-sneaky!" and hiding, rather unsuccessfully, behind various fire-hydrants the least bit disturbing, and it only crossed his mind -in a lukewarm millisecond- that Mr. Ex Boyfriend Look-Alike would most likely catch on to the fact that he was being followed and logically be a _bit_ weirded-out—

But of course, Axel simply plucked and buried that irksome thought into a distant, flowery corner of his mind and just went along with the scurrying of his feet and ducking behind of fire hydrants and other ridiculous objects per usual, because he was already deep into the flow of things and well…that kid really _did _look like his Ex. Seriously, what were the chances of that, eh?

He was just about to tip-toe around the corner, with all the stealth and grace of a drunken one-toe sloth, when he was suddenly smacked on the head with a shoe.

A freakin' shoe. Of all the things.

A very triumphant brunet (aka. current object of stalking-tion) looked down at his half-crouching-perplexed foe and beamed. "I **knew** that someone was following me! I just knew it! Because lemme tell you…nothing can ever get past _**me**_: The Mighty So_ra_!" The teenager, now known as Sora the Mighty, then proceeded to point an offending finger at the caught-and-bound criminal at hand. "Fiend! Reveal your identity and purpose at once or you shall have to face the consequences!"

And with that, the boy proceeded to raise his shoe in a menacing and doom-foreboding fashion.

Axel, if he were normal, would have promptly babbled a quick and sloppy apology dripping in shamefacedness and puppy dog eyes, conjured up some sorry-ass excuse on the spot to pacify the boy's accusing stare, and –before you know it- would be off on his merry and very gay way with his tail tucked between his legs. But Axel wasn't normal – so totally, _astronomically_ far from it - and so decided to settle upon the decision to blatantly tune out the kid's ramblings—never minding the fact that Lil' Blue-Eyes was currently bouncing his sneaker against his head in a vaguely annoying and pokey fashion.

You see, Axel had a very one-track type of mind which was currently involved in the **Art of Really-Creepy-Leering** (which was a very absorbing task). This mostly showcased him searing his gaze from the bottom of Sora's one-shoeless stance, all the way up that slender frame to where Ex-Boyfriend-Look-Alike's face was currently scrunched up in a funny way that looked both cute and ridiculously silly.

Kinda like his ex.

The edges of Axel's lips curled.

_Hmm…_

As for Sora, he simply continued to jab his gum-embellished shoe repeatedly against Axel's head, not because he actually wanted to hurt the guy or anything, but because the brunet was slowly becoming concerned at the blank, disturbing stare the red-head was currently fixating him with an unwavering and unsettling intent.

He prodded at Axel's bizarre, puke-up of a hair-style with a cautionary wind. "Um, sir, are you okay?" Another poke. "Helloo? Is anyone home up h**ere?**" Sora tapped his sneaker against the man's forehead. "Gheck, what the heck is **wrong** with you?"

Good-intentioned but naive Sora was becoming increasingly panicky at the total lack of human-like responses and so, in a last moment of mighty desperation, slammed his sneaker right smack in the middle of Axel's much-abused face with a near inhuman shriek of, "YO DOOD, SNAP OF IT!"

The result was rather unpleasant. Amusing, but mostly unpleasant.

Axel let loose a big squawk - as if he were some anorexic chicken on fire -, made a wobbly attempt to stay on his own two lumber-some feet, and failed miserably, no, _magnificently_—thereby crashing, butt-first, on the painfully-hard and slightly pointy sidewalk that just so happened to be _littered with some wet and lumpy stuff oh god f-- GROSS. _

For a small bub, the kid could really pack a punch.

Sora gasped—a dramatic and squeaky-pitched inhalation and, without further ado, dropped his shoe as if it were some horrible bunny-slaying weapon of death as he rushed to the aid of a certain sneaker-marked red-head.

He started to blubber.

"Oh. My. GOD. I am _so_ sorry, I swear, I didn't _mean _it, I was just doing what I thought was best—ok maybe it wasn't the _brightest_ idea to assault a total stranger with my shoe, _but_ I thought I was helping you out 'cuz you looked like you were in some sort of freaky, voodoo, creepy trance or something and you know what, what I am doing right now babbling? Hop on my back, mister, and I'll have you at the hospital in no time—!"

And at that precise moment in time, Axel started to laugh.

This probably wasn't a very smart thing to do (in fact, it just made him look even more like a total and complete psycho), but the idea of the puny brunet attempting to give him a piggy-back ride was just-so-fucking hi_lar_ious that oh god, he was gonna hafta hyperventilate his lungs out in a bloody, pulsing mess on the sidewalk or cough up a kidney or something because—

Sora stared at him, wide-eyed, confused, and just downright frightened. "Oh my god, what the heck is **wrong** with you?

Axel immediately shut his mouth, his insane cackling imitation of the Wicked Witch of the West coming to an abrupt halt as he slapped his hand onto the brunet's shoulders in a way that was _meant_ to be friendly, but only managed to come off as alarming. "Nothing's wrong. In fact, everything's just fantastically _perfect, So__**ra.**_"

Baby Blue-Eyes looked positively terrified. "H-how do you—" What the heck, how did this unstable freak with the weird gravity-defying hair -like _he _was the one to talk- know his name, eh?

Axel, gravity-defying hair and freak all bundled together, rolled his eyes in a caustic vortex of bright acid-green. "Well, duh, you only just announced it to the world when you decided to, let's see…oh yeah, **violate me with that stinky, gum-diseased footwear of yours.**

A slow, dawning of realization settled on Sora's face. "Oh…OH." He winced and had the dignity to look a bit abashed. "About that…with the shoe and all…look, I'm sorry, really, really, insanely, freakishly sorry. In fact, in a way to show you just how incredibly sorry I am about this whole blow-out and everything, how about I just—"

"Go out on a date with me."

Sora blinked. "HuzaWHA?"

"You heard me." Axel crossed his arms and fixed the boy with a lazy grin. "Let's go out on a date."

The brunet opened his mouth, closed it, opened his mouth again, closed it, and then finally, "But, whoah, wait, WHAT, I mean—" He pinched himself to make sure that all of this wasn't some weird, totally bizarre, and totally MESSED UP dream. "Wouldn't you rather have me buy you a cone of ice-cream or a frapachino as an apolo…?"

"So you're buying? **Excellent**," Axel grabbed onto Sora's arm and, despite the boy's indignant and flustered squeak, proceeded to drag him down the street. "Considering I was the one who suggested it, I was thinking of paying for the two of us, but HEY, if you're offering to fork out the cash, I ain't got no problem with _that_, in fact, I know this really nice and jazzy café about three blocks away—"

The word "date" once again decided to pin-wheel itself smack in the middle of Sora's (currently freaking out) mass of braincells in a splurge of colorful and explosive, "_Ohmygodwhatthehellsomebodysavemeplease_."

Why was this happening to him?

"Wait! Just hold on a second, we can't go out on a _date_…!"

Axel swiveled around and directed a genuinely curious stare at Sora's bewildered face."Oh really now. And would you be kind enough to tell me as to _why not_?"

He actually looked offended.

Sora looked miffed. "Well for one thing, I don't even know your name—"

A long-fingered hand was suddenly thrust underneath his nose, and Axel's eyes –so intensely **bright**- suddenly loomed in _so_ much closer. "Name's Axel. And if you forget that, believe me, next time it's gonna be ME who's doing the shoe-smacking around here, Lil' Blue."

Sora scowled, even when he hesitantly shook the offered hand gesture. "It's So**ra**, not Lil' Blue, thank you very much. And for another, we only just met like 5 minutes ago—!"

"And your point being?"

"Well…I don't even know anything about you!"

"You will know plen_ty_ enough about me, **that** I can promise you."

"But I was the one who nearly knocked you unconscious with my sneaker just a little while ago! Doesn't that even bother you-"

"Forgive and forget! That's my motto!"

Sora looked awe-struck, his blue eyes going all round and impossibly wide. Gosh, this man was such a _psycho. _"But, but, BUT!" He floundered around. "But wh—?"

_"What were you trying to do, Axel?" _

The red-head's towering form suddenly paused in its energetic voyage to the other side of the street and, without a moment to spare, turned around to directly face the brunet. Then, he placed a single, lithe finger directly in line with the boy's lips, lowered his head, and smiled.

Sora immediately stilled. Axel's hair was knifing into his eyes in such a provocative and intimidating sort of way that he found it hard to breath at that exact and precise moment.

A greener than green gaze – drowning pouring _phosphorescent_ - collided with a shade of familiar blue that was almost painful.

"Look, kid. I _like_ you. I like you _a lot_. Which is kinda whacky because normally, people bore the hell outta me. I'm all razzle-and-dazzle and burning in _the moment_ and let me tell you, no person has ever managed to leech the slightest interest from my grand ol' magnificent self except - and you listen hard - _Him_, this one guy, this real quirky, snarky brat with funny-looking hair and the bluest eyes you have ev**er **seen—could tell he wasn't just a Nobody the minute he whacked my head with a milk carton the first time I met him just because he claimed that I was looking at him all 'pervy'—a weird kid, a bit on the flighty side...but hey! - _so was I_ - maybe that's why he was the only one I ever really liked--cuz we _clicked_, ya' know? Fitted together like two puzzle pieces out of some demented, warbled scheme: Mr. and Mr. Weird. Strange and Stranger. _Me_ and _Him_. Man, that **Roxas** was really something—always managed to make me laugh and feel all woozy like some schizophrenic patient high on Sudafed and buffed up pixie sticks—just totally-fucking-_epic, _I tell you and

_it's kinda funny because somehow I really don't know where this is coming from but you, Sora, make me_—

And then Axel bit his tongue and stopped because he was babbling and starting to hurt and making no _sense _because

_He really did look like Roxas. And maybe, just maybe he could move **on**._

"So whaddya say, Sora? You up for some ice-cream and good ol' caffeinated beverages chock full of unhealthy sugar and cancer-causing preservatives?" Axel flashed him a winning smile. "Speak up, speak up! Time's a-ticking and never waits for no one!"

Five minutes ago, Sora would've most likely turned the offer down and galloped away at the speed of light like any sane individual would have normally done. But, just now, he had seen a flicker of something like desperation in those scintillating green eyes, witnessed a thread of sadness caught and wound within Axel's voice, glimpsed a smile stretched a bit too tight around the edges —and Sora, self-less, caring, sweet Sora, just didn't have the **heart** to say no.

Sora rumpled an awkward hand through his cinnamon-toasted sprawl of hair. He didn't know what he was getting himself into but—

"…well, I guess I'm in the mood for something sweet." The brunet's lips curved upwards into a shy smile. "I've always had a soft spot for ice cream!"

"Oho, now that's what I'm talking about! Come young laddie and let us go forth!"

"Oh yeah, were you really serious about me paying for everything? Because--"

"You can bet your star-fish mop of hair that I was serious!"

There was a pout. "But you're the one who asked me out in the first place!"

"And you're the one who molested my face with the more personal and disgusting side of your bloody _shoe_."

"So said the person whose been _stalking _me for the past hour or so."

"I prefer if you would use the phrase…_observing in a highly scrutinizing way of manner that might just come off as slightly persistent._"

"…you're so weird."

There was a chuckle. "Yeah, I know, right?"

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_- _

_"It's kinda funny. You make me feel the same **way**."_

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**The End**

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**A/N: **So Sora and Axel go off on a date! Even though Axel's a creepy stalker with Ex-BF issuesand Sora's a weirdo who likes to hit people with his shoe but HAY THAT'S OK. 

...wow, now that I think about it, this is such a dumb premise for a story. Heck, it's not EVEN story. More like a random smushup. -cries-

Too random? I'm very sorry. :( But I happen to really like this pairing (because omg, it can be so twisted and tragic and MESSED UP with the whole Roxas thingie ANGST -heart-) Maybe I should've just written a KH canon fic. DX 

If you would **review**, then that would be _lovely._ :) If not, I understand. My writing sucks. D:


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